Turn Down For Me

by Kyle Kessell

The holidays are a wonderful time filled with excitement, family bonding and the same five songs played on repeat until your ears are bleeding. I’m convinced everyone pretends to like these songs just like everyone pretends to like seeing their family complain about how people now are disrespectful and how the elitist left viciously attacks Donald Trump.

No, is that just my family? Well, you better get used to me talking about my personal experiences. This story will be all about the Halloween songs I view to be the most overplayed.

I decided to only do the top five because otherwise, I’d fall into the hole of negativity. Since I don’t have a ladder, I’d be stuck down there until Halloween, and I’d be forced to listen to these horrendous songs on loop. So, lets get on with them.

5. Starting out the list, we have everybody’s favorite movie composer Danny Elfman. If you don’t know who that is, watch any Tim Burton flick. Are you still confused? Stop reading then. The song I’m talking about is none other than “This is Halloween.” It’s a good movie, but it is an overplayed song.

4. “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder is a fun, entertaining, three minutes (the first 100 times you hear it). Now, I’m a huge Stevie Wonder fan. The way he infuses blues, swing and pop will make him go down as one of the top American musicians of the 20^th century, if not all time. This song, on the other hand, needs to be taken off everyone’s Halloween playlists. Then, the musical healing can begin. I said musical healing, Marvin Gaye!

3. “Who ya gonna call?” Answer: a different DJ. “Ghostbusters” is a wonderful movie staring Saturday Night Live heavyweights Dan Aykroyd and Bill Murray. The titular song, however, is fun (as a kid) because it’s just the chorus on repeat. Kids love repetitive junk. Adults on the other hand, require a little more brain stimulation.

2. “Aaooooo”, get out of my house with your screaming. There isn’t an enormous amount to say about this song, other than, it should make like the werewolves it’s based of off, and stay in London.

1. At the top of the list is a song that not even some bubbly could make me enjoy, and most of these songs can become enjoyable with a little fermented barley. This song is unforgivable. The song I’m regrettably talking about is “Monster Mash.” Oh my goodness, this song is so boring. I didn’t even enjoy it as a kid, and when it gets played, I have to leave the area or I will become in physically ill. Okay, so maybe that isn’t fully accurate. Maybe, I embellished how much this song affects me, but this song does make my stomach quiver.

So, there you have my top five most overplayed Halloween songs. If you have any decency as a human being, stay away from these songs while putting together a playlist for your party. At least, if you want your party to be a smashing hit, you should.